WITH OKOBI BENSON-ALLANAH

 Kiridi, in the Ibo speaking area of Delta State, like their kilt and kin across the Niger, literally translated, means ‘what is in a husband? Is a word used by some set of wayward, morally-loosed, disrespectful, money-chasing, bad-mouthed, tested and failed housewives who see nothing special being in a marriage or being addressed as Mrs. somebody.’ a man, whose wife recently absconded to become a member of the fraternity which headquarters is said to be somewhere in Delta North, told Relationship Blitz in a recent interview that took place in Asaba.

Mr. Jonah Uwajanma is a soft-spoken, diligent young man in his mid -40s who owns a thriving wielding workshop somewhere at Okwe in Asaba.

He got married to MekiriweUwajanma in 2014, and their marriage was solemnized in a holy matrimony that took place in one of the new generation churches at Okpanam,Asaba, while the traditional marriage took place on Sakpoba Road, Benin-City, where Mekiriwe’s parents reside. The traditional marriage did not take place in her village due to some unforeseen circumstances.

The marriage which is blessed with two children is currently facing crises with the absconding of Mekiriwe who abandoned her four and two year-old children, made up of two boys, for her husband including her well-equipped hair-dressing saloon shop located somewhere at Akwuebulu area of Asaba, to join the Kiridi Social Women, Free For All Men Club (KISWOFAM-C).

The 34 year-old former housewife said to be a secondary school drop-out from Itohan Girls Grammar School, Benin-City, ran into Jonah Uwajanmawhile he was an undergraduate at Shaka Momodu Institute of Technology, Auchi Road, Benin-City, where he later graduated in Welding and Fabrication Technology.

They were said to have courted for four years before they got married in 2014, and the marriage ceremony was well-attended. While the courtship lasted, Mekiriwe, according to Jonah, neither gave her any inkling that she was a flirt of the highest order, nor did she show any sign that she was not a marriage material.

‘That Mekiriwe you see did all she could to convince me she was in love; she went ahead pretending to be a good girl before my parents and my siblings. Anybody connected to me in any form and was known to her, was given the maximum respect.That explained why, when we got married, the marriage ceremony pulled crowd that was beyond anyone’s expectation.’

According to Jonah, the former husband, there was no member of the family that did not like her. She was unassuming, full of respect and showed o lot of humility. He said it was these qualities that made him to jump at the idea of getting married to her; that he quickly jumped into marriage with her when she told him that they had courted enough to know each other very well, and should for that reason, get hooked to each order without further delay.

Mekiriwe, Relationship Blitz reliably gathered, washed her would-be parents’ in-laws clothes, even to the point of washing the clothes of Jonah’s siblings. Any time she visited Jonah from Benin, who was then staying with his parents in Asaba, she would be behaving the good girl, showing great respect to all, greeting nearly everyone with reverence, and these qualities endeared her to the innermost hearts of many who called her all the time ’My wife, our wife and our this and out that, all pointing to the fact that she was highly loved by all.

‘So, when eventually I presented the idea of getting married to Mekiriwe to my family, no one showed any sign of objection. They were all happy that we were at last going to get married, that our friendship was not going to end up at last, fruitless. On her parents side too, I was highly carried because they all had love for me, perhaps because of the same qualities I shared with Mekiriwe.

At what point in time did you start noticing strange behaviors in her? Relationship Blitz tried to find out.

It was after giving birth to my second son, Chikwado, when some of her friends yet to get married came in from Agbor and Benin tovisit us in Asaba. I returned from work to meet them in my house. Their posture, countenance and, in short, the utterances by one of them, showed they were a bunch of irresponsible ladies.

Could you point out one of such utterances, can you recall it?

‘Yes, I still remember it vividly when my wife inquired from one of her former classmates from Itohan Girls to know if one of their classmates called Isokpan was married yet. What came out from the mouth of one of them on the visit that day was whether marriage is reigning, and if all marriage is marriage. I felt bad by what came out from her mouth even if I did not express it facially.

And when she saw them off on the very day four of them were going back to their base, my wife spent close to an hour with them at the bus stop before coming back to the house. And when I asked her why she stayed that long forgetting she left a baby behind, a baby that started crying no sooner she left, her reply transfixed me to a spot, I couldn’t just move a step forward. I was surprised at what she said, that assuming she is late or no longer interested in the marriage, whether I cannottake care of my children. I saw my mouth hung open. And I can tell you that it was from that day her behavior in the house as a housewife changed.’

Jonah Uwajanma’s mother, Mrs. Doris, a retired Nurse from the Federal Medical Center, Asaba, speaking with Relationship Blitz, said if someone had told her that Mekiriwe was going to change all of a sudden, forgetting the love everyone in the family had for her, and not considering the shame her sudden behavior would attract to her, that she would have received it with a pinch of salt.

‘Mekiriwe just disgraced herself by abandoning her children to abscond. She brought disgrace upon her family, and all those she claims are her friends. She switched off her phone, secretly packed all her belongings and told a neighbor to help her look after her children that she was rushing to the now relocated Abraka Market to pick some few food stuffs. That was how she absconded, getting to three months now, leaving Nonso and Chikwado with me to be taking care of. We will see the extent her new chosen trade, prostitution will take her. I think we are all in this country. Her shop is now placed under lock and key. If my son is able to get a new wife, she will collect the shop. Nor be Asaba here we dey.’ She boosted.

Mr.ChigboUwajanma, Jonah’s father, a retired DSP from the Nigeria Police Force, who is now the Chief Security Officer (CSO), of a roofing sheet producing companybased in Asaba, could not be reached to comment on the development either through phone or physical contact as at press time.

In Benin, Relationship Blitz was able to get Mekiriwe, her parents and one of her friends to talk on the issue.

Mr. Ibegbulem Okoh, Mekiriwe’s father who was first to speak, said he was yet to know what led his daughter to taking the decision he is, till tomorrow, strongly kicking against. They both signed for better for worse during their wedding. The young man is very okay, working as self-employed man with a thriving workshop; I’m yet to know why my daughter abandoned her husband and my grandchildren.’The retired teacher stated.

Mekiriwe’s mother, Mrs. Betty Okoh, a petty trader, said everyone has got his or her own life to live. She said a toad does not run in the day time for nothing; that her daughter must have seen what others did not see that made her to elope. ‘Marriage is not by force. My daughter did not start it nor will she be last to do it. Other ladies will equally follow suit someday, one day.’

Mekiriwe, met to get her own side of the story, says she is no longer interested in being married to any man. She said her mates not yet married, not to talk of having children, have made it in life more than she that got entangled in the web of marriage.

Asked if it was because of suffering she left the marriage, she said she never suffered any hardship in the hands of Jonah-- that she decided to leave him because the gap between her and her friends was much as they own more property than she that was married. She said it was the reason why she joined Kiridi Social Women, Free For All Men Club (KISWOFAM-C) all of which members have one tangible property or the other to boost of.

‘I know they have been pointing accusing finger at me that I was one of those responsible for her abandoning her children and subsequent elopement, well, all I know is that when one gets tired of a marriage, he or she takes a bow.’ Mekiriwe’s friend, Isokpan, who she has been missing for a long time, told Relationship Blitz.

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